Manhood Is Not Easy by Karin van Nieuwkerk

Author:Karin van Nieuwkerk [Nieuwkerk, Karin van]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, Anthropology, Cultural & Social, Men's Studies, Gender Studies
ISBN: 9789774168895
Google: dfpOugEACAAJ
Publisher: American University in Cairo Press
Published: 2019-01-15T04:16:05+00:00

I will never forget that wedding with Ibtisam. It was a poor family’s wedding in Imbaba, and I went with Ibtisam, a mazhar player, a tabla player, an accordionist, and a saxophone player. I didn’t know the family; they simply came here to make arrangements and I went. It was a difficult economic period in Egypt when there were few weddings, and it wasn’t the wedding season either.

When I got to the wedding, I felt that the atmosphere was heavy (ti’il). Sometimes we played at a wedding where we hardly earned a thing, but the atmosphere was still nice and there were no problems. However, I felt like there would be problems ahead here. And I was right.

First, a group of young men entered the wedding, boys of seventeen, eighteen, or nineteen years old. They brought four bottles of beer and were drinking and smoking hashish. They got drunk. Of course, we also drank beer or whiskey sometimes, but we didn’t get drunk!

Another guest tipped only 5 le but stayed and danced onstage for an hour, asking Ibtisam to dance with him. All that for just 5 le! We got very annoyed with him for keeping us working for an hour for a simple 5 le. So, we played him the salam as a sign that we were finished with him.4

He yelled, “No! I am not going to get down!” and pulled a big knife. From experience, I immediately understood that he wanted to start a big fight and take Ibtisam with him. I felt like he intended to do that.

I told Ibtisam to take the money bag and go inside the bride’s apartment. But those people were not tough and courageous (gid‘an) and they didn’t really protect her. I then told them the party was over and insisted we were going to leave.

“But she’s not going to leave,” the man with the knife said. The tabla player and the mazhargi stood beside me, but they were also quite short. I pulled Ibtisam to my side and we went to the main road. I worried that the problem would only increase the longer it took to find a taxi to bring her home. The man would try to take her. And if that happened, if a girl I took with me to a wedding were kidnapped, my reputation would be destroyed. I and my name would be totally lost.

I saw a microbus approaching and I sprang in front of it to stop it. I could have been killed! I told the driver, “Please do me a favor: by the Prophet (wa-l-nabi), take her with you and bring her home.” I also let the saxophone player get in the bus because he was an old man. And the driver took them home.

Later, Ibtisam told people that I had been quarreling with the wedding guests and had told them stupid things like “Whatever you would like to do with her, do it to me.” These were improper things to say. Shame (‘eyb)! I was not a boy anymore and I had a name to protect.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.